Thursday, May 01, 2003

mary and i went to best buy in crestwood, then the target, then kmart, then best buy again, then the best buy in ford city AND THEY ARE ALL OUT OF SEANA'S PRESENT. *shakes fist* i'm real tired now and i want cookies so im eating them but even my mom suggested i drop a few pounds. i want my graduation dress to look nice, dont i? yeah i guess i do. so when your cookie falls apart in the milk and sinks to the bottom, do you fish it out? i know i do. cuz its just a waste of cookie if you dont. by the time you finish the milk and drink it, the cookie's become sludge and its hard to fish out of there because your hand cant fit in the glass. so then you gotta stick your middle finger and pointer in there and fish around, and then your fingers kinda smell cuz you suck on em to get the milk off...well maybe you guys don't have these problems but i know i do.

ahoy. lets see whats in the new today.

1) i'm prolly going to depaul cuz A) columbia hasnt sent me an award letter in regards to financial aid at all and B) cuz my parents said so. but we'll see bout that.
2) monica slept over last night! her floors are being redone at her house, which means the only place to really inhabit is her kitchen. with her parents already sleeping there, thats a problem. she said she was gonna sleep in her car, but uh, no! (just for future reference, if anyone ever needs a place to stay, dont hesitate to ask)
3) i couldnt sleep at all last night mainly cuz of all the noise: the storm, monicas phone vibrating (i think) and my dog going absolutely bonkers last night. he was panting, running around, and just actin more dumb than usual. i just figured he was horny. i went downstairs to talk online cuz i couldnt sleep, and then all of a sudden my dog poops all over the floor. good boy. suyes, he was sick.
4) me an dana are goin to get our nails done! well i'm just getting a manicure but yknow.
5) FREAKY ASS DREAM LAST NIGHT. i dreamt i was talking on the phone in my living room, and the conversation with the dude i was talking to was fairly normal. then he asks, "do you like the flavor of the oreos? if not, i'll be watching you." i started to laugh and then he got really scary and said, "i can see you right now." so i look out my window and theres some really nasty lookin man in a clownsuit with an orange fro and white balloons on my sidewalk. so i shut the blinds, locked both the doors, and yelled at my dad to go upstairs and hide cuz there was a killer clown outside. we were upstairs and i was trying to get a hold of my mom to tell her not to come home because the clown might see her and kill her, but i couldnt. my dad didnt seem to care so much there was a clown tryin to kill everyone in my house, i guess it musta been normal in alsip where he grew up. the phone i was using went dead, so i ran downstairs to get my phone and my dads phone to use those, and just as i was running through the dining room, i saw him through the windows there and hoooooooooooly shit i almost screamed. i got outta there and ran to the mudroom and saw the clown through the back door and again i almost screamed. i ran upstairs to my room and tried to call 911, but then the phone turned to my lip gloss tin, and all of a sudden one of the teachers from the guidance department was yelling at me to zip my skirt up all the way. then i woke up cuz i didnt like that one bit.

it was weird.

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

What's Your Personality Type?
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Funny Asian Man

i had forgotten all bout quizzilla!

Why do people read your Livejournal?
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I'm just a cool person. People like me.

cooler than the fonz!

ahh...its so lovely outside. rainy and dark, and when the bluish gray light of the sky hits the grass and trees it makes them glow a healthy springy glow.

i really have nothing to say. im eating frosted mini wheats and drinking ice tea for breakfast. my dishwasher doesnt quite get the glasses clean anymore. sometimes ill be drinkin something out of one and ill go " that on the inside or outside" and the majority of the time its on the inside. i dont mind tho. sometimes it adds flavor and sometimes it doesnt.

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

so a miracle happened!

my dad said that neither he nor my mom will be driving me up to the cabin, which means hes not looking in the refridgerator. he said its not worth it for me to be mad at him. which is funny cuz i was just startin to think that too. its not worth bein mad at him for a stupid dance, plus he wont see anything bad anyways.

oh well!

baby charles brosnan: hey ma, how bout some cookies?
mama charles brosnan: no dice.
baby charles brosnan: dis ain't over.

well howdy doo. yeah tomorrow is progress report day for the rest of the school, but not for seniors cuz well, we're seniors. but we get notices sent home if we're failing. im thinkin im gonna get like...2 or 3. thats not so cool. not so cool at all. but i think i can pull up the grades, especially for english. man i never thought i'd say this but i hate english class. its sooo boring! last years english class wasn't even an english class, so i dont really have the right to say i hated it. but this is an actual class class and my dear sweet lord...its awful. while i was in there today, i realized my daydreaming pattern. here it is.

first period: gym. i either focus on working in the weight room so i dont pass out, or daydream about guys.
second period: theology. i usually just talk to natalie and adrienne, no time to daydream!
third period: photo. no time to daydream! im either in the darkroom, doing my hw for the next class, or napping.
fourth period: english. i usually think about guys at this point...mmm...guys...hehehehehehehe!
fifth period: ap euro. nap time.
sixth period: ap french. i dream about either guys or food at this point; usually food.
seventh period: ap art history. its either food or guys here; usually guys.

you can clearly see my mind revolves around 2 things: food and the opposite sex.

Monday, April 28, 2003

SHE BURNS! ahh that's such a good song! download "what it is to burn" by finch. i like it ever so much.

how are you all? i'm fine. school wasn't as excruciating as i thought it would be. tomorrow we have to register for our AP exams, and i'm considering not taking the AP euro exam because i learned nothing. but how would i go about telling my teacher, who i do think is a cutie pie (regardless of her crappy teaching and mounds of homework), to her face nonetheless that i won't take it because she's a bad teacher? i highly doubt it could be done. well it could be but i also run the risk of her looking down on me for the rest of the year. i'm not sure if she would, because i kinda like to imagine that teachers don't hate us. but i'm finding more and more that they do tend to hate us. they're human like us, right? right. so therefore they're entitled to any type of feeling, especially hatred towards me and my sister-students.

sister students? yeah i smoked a lot of crack this morning i bet its that.

and i sincerely hope chuck found a date for katie from rice! or she could go with this guy, nish (sp?). i kinda wanna go with nish, to be honest! the way natalie described him makes him seem cool. but then again she mighta left out how he's 400 lbs and has no hands. but she said he's raised hindu so he doesn't eat meat, right? but i guess he eats meat outside the home, which is funny i think, and he has a bit of a fro. so i kinda wanna meet this kid and be like, "sup nish."

Sunday, April 27, 2003

well i'm changing the comments section because i like this format better, but i'm going to have the old comments linked to the left. not like you care or anything. HTML is the devil. please dog buns expand in my tum tum. they do. how do i make it not say shout out?! this is crap. CMON! please work...yipee!!

i just thought this was funny.

CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: odisf

Auto response from ChokingxVictimx: One life I'm gonna live it up
I'm takin' flight I said i'll never get enough
Stand tall I'm young and kinda proud
I'm on top as long as the music's loud

If you think I'll sit around as the world goes by
You're thinkin' like a fool cause it's a case of do or die
Out there is a fortune waitin' to be had
You think I'll let it go you're mad
You've got another thing comin'

i'm at the track gettin my run on. give me a call 779-5625

CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: fine
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: id call you but i have no phone
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: lemme tell you why my dad sucks
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: proms this weekend right?
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: sooooo we're all goin up to this cottage in wisconsin
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: first, they make me have THEM drive me up right after prom instead of my friends like EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: THENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN my dad INSISTS on fucking looking in the refridgerator to see if theres beer or whatver in there
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: that ol "we trust you but not your friends" crap
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: so fuck that
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: im running away.
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: so hows you? get a stitch from running?
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: i can clearly comprehend you're not there, but i figured i should just fill you in on all thebullshit goin on in my life
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: i go back to school tomorrow
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: and i think i wanna go to school in iowa to get the hell away from my parents
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: either that or go to the school i REALLY wanna go to, columbia. but i dont hink my parents would let me go there, so ill just take out government loans in my name and go there myself and pay it em all back in a millenia
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: i also have to raed about 50 pages in the lord of the flies, the most boring book in the world
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: i also have decided my lifes mission: to become the coolest person in the world
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: i wrote a paper about my mission
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: i posted it in my blog:
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: whats that song you have in your away message?
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: i dont know why i asked you a question, its not like you'll respond right away to it.
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: and some dude IMed me from and he seems decent, however way older than me
ChokingxVictimx: haha i jeart you angela
ChokingxVictimx: ha, jeart
ChokingxVictimx: i meant heart
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: hahahah
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: i understand
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ChokingxVictimx: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
ChokingxVictimx: i enjoyed your 26 messages
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: 26? LMAO
ChokingxVictimx: yes lol
CeLLoPhANeAdDicT: im very lonely.

hi. im real bored. and i don't want to read or do anything school related, so here i sit. and im pissed at my parents about prom (again). big surprise. and i'd like to extend this message...
anyways. why does this room smell like tuna salad? it's real gross. so hows everyone doin out there? good i hope. better than me at least, hehe. why is no one online? ohh right, school's goin back tomorrow. i guess everyones wanting to do hw and such. well i guess i'll just go and read sparknotes then. or something.

author's note: here is the paper that i had to write for theology class. it's called a "personal mission statement." i wrote it in an hour. it's awesome. well, i think it's awesome. feel free to read it and comment (honestly) on it cuz i'm just interested in hearing what you have to think of it, as well as my bizzare inner psyche. it's kinda long. so go nuts.

Angela Papaleo
April 28, 2003
Period 2
Personal Mission Statement

My Mission: To be The Coolest Person in The World

It’s very difficult for me to write this paper. I mean the very first reflection question is “Who has been one of the most influential people in my life?” That’s a sign right there that this paper is going to be really hard to write. It’s not that I don’t have any influential people in my life…ok so maybe it is. That’s not to say that there aren’t any people in my life who haven’t made a good impression on me, it just means that I really don’t find myself wanting to follow in anyone’s footsteps. And why would I want to, anyways? I’m not them. I don’t want what they have. I want what I want. Which I think brings me directly to the next reflection: What I’d like to be.

Ah, another really hard question. I remember I wrote my personal essay for college applications about how I wanted to be an actress. Sure, who knows, maybe I still wanna be an actress. But then I start thinking about how I want to be rich and famous, and yeah being an actress is a good route to take if I want to gain publicity and lots of dollars. But then my mind starts wandering and I find myself second-guessing myself. Am I good enough? Do I have talent? Am I pretty enough? Let’s face it folks, these days you gotta be a blonde twig to make it in the entertainment business and I am by no means a blonde twig. Oy vey I tell ya, it aint easy bein green…I mean…me. So let’s skip over my insecurities for a bit and go right to: What I’d like to do.

Well, I think I’d like to make art. Sure, I can be an artist. Anyone can be an artist; at least that’s what G-D (Ms. Gordon-Davis), the fabulous art teacher/head of the art department, says. And I believe her. Look at Jackson Pollock! All he did was splash paint around and it got him not only notoriety as an artist and a movie about his life! Some people have all the luck. He doesn’t even have talent! Grr he just angers me…but enough about Pollock, this paper’s about me. So yes, I would like to do art. Now that answers that question, so the next one is: What I’d like to have.

All I ever wanted is duct tape! Yeah! I could eat it every day! Yeah!

No wait, I’m sorry. I lie. I don’t want duct tape, nor would I eat it every day. It’s just kinda funny because as I’m writing this paper I’m listening to this CD by a band called Ophur, and I’m listening to this song called “Dinosaurs and Candy Cats.” There’s this one part where they sing, “All I ever wanted is duct tape/Yeah/I could eat it every day/Yeah” and it was just funny because it was a coincidence. But I digress.

What would I like to have? Well I’d like to have a lot of things. I might want a husband. That would be kinda nice, y'know, to get married and have kids. Well maybe not kids but it would be nice to have someone that I love be by my side. And then of course I’d like a really nice place to live, maybe a loft on the north side of Chicago or in New Mexico or Arizona or California, someplace warm. And of course, I couldn’t have a nice place to live without money, so yes, I’d like to be very wealthy. And I’d like to have a lot of friends, but frankly, I don’t see that being a problem for me cuz I tend to talk to people. Some people I know are always saying how they never talked to anyone in high school (and still don’t) and that’s why only a few people are their friends, and I think that’s stupid. Why wouldn’t you talk to anyone? Why wouldn’t you make friends with the person next to you? Sure, you don’t have to be their best friend in the end, but they don’t even go out of their way to wave to people they sit behind or anything like that. It’s nuts, I say. What else do I want? Ooh, I want a good career! I want success! I want to be taken seriously! I want to be the most avant-garde artist of my time! I want respect as an artist, notoriety, articles about me, interviews with Barbara Walters, and a syndicated column written by myself in every major newspaper in the world. Yes, that’s what I want. And maybe I’d like a movie about my life too, or a TV show. It’d be a comedy (of course) and I’d write it along with my friends from high school and college. Man, I’m gonna be the coolest person in the world.

Upon reading this, I have realized that a lot of the stuff I’ve written is absolute fantasy. Big time. But hey, I have a right to dream, don’t I? And who says that I can’t have any of those things? No one! The only person who’s going to stop me from being the coolest person in the world is me. So let’s go back to the part that I skipped: my insecurities.

I am really insecure; I always have been. Not just about my looks but also my personality and talents. I’m always wondering if the compliment that someone’s paying me isn’t just them making fun of me or them wanting something from me. And I’ve always wondered if I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and if doggone it, people like me. And I guess I am, and I guess people do like me because I have a lot of friends and fairly good grades. So this is what I need to do to become the coolest person in the world: I just need to trust that I am the coolest person in the world and am indeed good enough, smart enough, and that doggone it, people like me.